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A Womanizer’s Guide to Axiom Chapter 4

The womanizer’s guide to Axiom is the result of a one on one texted based game between myself and Mark Bell. It takes place on the fantasy world of Axiom and follows a spoiled merchants son as he gets in over his head!

Chapter 4

“I can see we’re all a little agitated right now, so maybe we should continue our conversation in the morning, after we all get some sleep.” Titus smiled, holding his gun up in a non-threatening manner before literally diving backwards through the open window. Rolling to his feet on the flat roof below, he took two steps and dove over the side.

Titus hit the sand heavy ground and rolled through without injury coming up to his feet as he heard the fire of two shots from the bedroom above him and the sound of breaking glass. Titus might have wondered if the thief had been shot, or maybe Gavin’s wife Gael, or had one of the shots been the thief’s pistol finding its mark in the Pirate or her goons?Titus did not worry about this however, because he did not wonder about the events in the room. His one and only goal was escape and personal preservation.

He had landed at the rear of the house. Ahead of him sat a strangely out of place flatbed four wheel cart, two horses tied to it and a large figure sitting in the driver’s seat twisted around to see him.

The figure was a darker skinned Imbube, amazonian features and the growth of heavy hair on the side burns gave her away immediately. Her cat-like eyes saw him and concern struck her face as she looked back up to the roof.

The thief had exited the same window and desperately ran along the clay shingles towards the cart side of the house, the clay pieces fell and shattered behind her.

“Hey stop right there!” Titus spun to see two ne’er do well looking fellows sprinting around the corner of the house behind him pistols drawn. More of the pirate woman’s goons no doubt. 

Due to the look of concern on the panther-like driver, he surmised the cart was the thief’s vehicle of escape. 

Titus quickly assessed the situation and decided he had three options. The first was to try to get in the cart and hope they didn’t toss him out immediately. The second would be to make a break for the cliff side in which the house faced, before risking a fifty foot drop over the edge into the water and safety below…assuming he could miss the rocks. Then finally the third option was the most direct, stand and fight….

So maybe only two options after all.

Such tempting choices though only one he thought, had even the most remote chance of success. Still running, he vaulted himself into the cart. Breathing heavily, he pointed over his shoulder at the thief on the roof. “She’ll be… just a moment.”

“Get out of the cart!” The heavy booming Izwe regional accent of the woman gave Titus pause when the driver yelled at him. He actually considered it for a moment. The lead balls that whizzed past his head a second later reinforced his resolve.

In the next second the thief landed in the cart with a thump before staring daggers at Titus, “You?”

Titus shrugged, “Me.”

The one eyed pirate woman fired from the roof and the bullet struck one of the walls of the cart splintering wood, The Imbube was done waiting.

“Yaaaaa!” The imbube whipped at the lead and the horses took off the cart lurched into motion around the corner of the house as The pirate woman could still be heard screaming at her men to pursue. As they hit the road the driver turned to the thief and growled, “Who is this?!”

She turned towards him scowling, “baggage.”

“Can the baggage fight, because we will have company soon!” The large woman growled, her cat-like extended fangs showed. 

Titus pulled his gun back out and sighted down the barrel. “Drive now, talk later!” He braced his hand and waited for his shot – the back of a cart going breakneck speeds on dirt roads at night wasn’t exactly going to do his aim any favors.

The horses could be seen in the early morning twilight as the carriage stormed down the road. The thief frowned at the idea of Titus giving an order,”don’t get comfortable.”

That was the end of the argument, because three riders could be seen now, all obvious henchmen of the lady pirate, riding fast and gaining quickly. They would have to work together to survive this.


“This changes nothing?” Gavin’s nervous voice asked from behind the pirate

Dufrees scowled as she watched with her one eye as the carriage, and the amulet pulled away into the night. The pirate captain had been so close, mere feet away from everything she had been looking for for so long.

“This changes nothing right?” Gavin repeated from the window.

She turned and reloaded the gun she had fired. With the sure feet of a practiced sailor, she stepped back to the window and through into the bedroom. She did not respond to the fool, she was having a hard time not just making a canoe of his head.

“Dufrees, we still have a deal right?!” Gavin asked desperately.

Dufrees raised the gun to his face. The barrel to Gavin’s chin,” your whore wife allowed the amulet to be taken, and now it is on a cart speeding away into the night… What do you think?”

Gavin didn’t speak assuming the question was rhetorical… It was not, “don’t make me ask you again Gavin.”

“I guess…No?” He stammered.

Dufrees thumbed the hammer back to a safe position with a click and pulled the gun away, “and here I thought you were stupid.”

She turned and walked out of the room. This allowed Gavin to breathe a sigh of relief. At least he still had his life. The snoring of his cheating wife cut the silence like a knife and he turned to his naked, boozed up betrothed. She had somehow managed to sleep through it all.

“Wake up, bitch!” He kicked the side of the bed and she snapped up to attention. She looked around in a panic, then seeing her husband was the only one in the room, she attempted to cover the panic with a smile believing she was in the clear, “sweetheart you are home early.”

He scowled at her, “oh save it.”

YouTube Channel

The Last Tea Shop. A solo TTRPG playthrough. Written by Ash Alder and narrated by Zachariah Van Sluyters

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